When someone you love is struggling with their relationship with food, it can feel overwhelming to know how to help. This case study explores the emotional, practical, and relational challenges a parent might face when supporting a loved one through food-related struggles and, most importantly, how knowing where to turn can make a meaningful difference. By understanding available support options, you can move from feeling helpless to feeling informed, empowered, and ready to help.
Treading on Eggshells Participant Case Study:
You always think it's not going to happen to you, but when my daughter was in her second year at university, she came home for Christmas and she was visibly significantly thinner. She acknowledged “Mum, you know, I know I am thinner”, but I don't think I realised when she first said it how important it was that she had the courage to say that to me. It is hard to know where to begin a conversation, and I think the more I went on to read about or talk about eating disorders, the more I realised that how you talk to a person who is struggling with their eating is absolutely key.
The anxiety that my daughter was experiencing when she came home for that Christmas was really, really hard because so much of Christmas is about food. We ended up having quite a few buffets so that my daughter could have the food that she was comfortable with having, and I could actually see that she was having something. I had to trust her because she went back to university, but I was very blessed that there were other people around and at that point to talk to in my workplace.
I was very scared because the fact that she wasn't living at home was difficult and I just wanted to make it right. I think that was quite an overwhelming feeling for me, needing to know what to do. So I did in fact speak to a colleague at work first who had lived experience herself. She very kindly agreed to meet me and my daughter, and that was a really good starting point. Having a starting point became a very important thing for me, and knowing where to turn.
Ultimately, I knew that it had to be my daughter that got better for herself, but I was also not sure that she knew how to do that either. Because of the nature of eating disorders, it was all consuming and I could see how she struggled with what was happening inside her head really, as much as anything.
One of the best things for me was the Treading on Eggshells course that SYEDA runs. Being able to come along and meet with other parents who were experiencing similar things, and to have the reassurance and the support of professionals who could give advice, was incredibly helpful. The other thing that I did, because my daughter was living away from home, was to call BEAT. They were really helpful and I thought their website was really good because it showed a geographical map display of where councillors were in all the different areas of the UK, and I did find somebody who was just the right kind of personality for my daughter.
Very happily for me, my daughter did get over that situation. It probably took a year, and now, it’s easier to tread on eggshells without fear of crushing them.
A note from SYEDA:
Our services are available to anyone supporting a loved one with an eating disorder who is registered with a GP in South Yorkshire, even if the person you are supporting is not currently accessing SYEDA’s services. All support services are provided free of charge.
If you would like to find out more about the support available, please get in touch or complete our online referral form. One of our Eating Disorders Practitioners will contact you to arrange an assessment. Please note that assessments are held for one person at a time, so a separate referral form should be completed for each individual who would like to receive support from SYEDA.
